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Feelings. Longings. Desires.

How do you deal with them as a grownup?

If anyone asked me this very question I would have no idea how to answer it. Maybe you have some golden piece of advice? To be honest, most of the time I would love to use a precise, medical scalpel and cut all of the magical trio out. Not much good happens when you let them take charge in your grownup life.

Just a week ago I found out on Facebook (a sign of our times, where the info came to me) that a guy I knew from way back committed suicide. A beautiful man, who seemed to have it all - work, family with kids. Picture perfect.

And I get him. I myself have no idea how to deal with the huge contrast of what we are told is good for us when we are free and young, and what appears to actually be the reality when we become parents, single parents, struggling parents, victims of our husbands, in panic search for stability and sustainability on the job market... Why are we lied to as our younger selves that everything is possible? That when you want something and try for it, sky's the limit? For sensitive dreamers the shock is unbearable. Painful, strangling feeling that takes away your will to live.

In a real flood of materials on how to have a quality life, promising you instant happiness, corresponding directly to what we were fed as youngsters (I believe most of us in our cultural circle where), I did find books and psychological trends that brought some relief. I will give you my top 5 in a dedicated article. They didn't promise to solve all of your problems, but they did help to take baby steps towards being good to oneself in this better, less delusional way. I still stumble and fall, however the falls are not from Mount Everest but some mild misty hill...

Loughrigg Fell, Ambleside, UK
Loughrigg Fell, Ambleside, UK © Ian Cylkowski


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