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In The Maze

In the maze of internet and all kinds of relationships...

Exposing ourselves on the internet is definitely a phenomena which is deeply analysed and probably there are a lot of smart answers to all the related questions. This doesn't change the fact that for everyone of us here the reason for doing so is probably different and very individual. I am really curious, what is yours?

For me...

I have never been extremely active on my personal social media accounts. I would rather get creative, play with the form but mostly with everything but my personal stuff. And suddenly, surprisingly to myself, I started this. As for many people around me I observe a big tendency towards depression caused by the pandemic, the war, the climate changes, the shitty political reality, the often unstable work situation... In my life there is also the divorce, a difficult relationship with my ex-husband, lonely parenting and bad professional choices until recently. And I must also mention something I do not quite grasp, but what happened to our relationships? And I mean all the ships... We are mostly extremely lonely. Has it always been like that?


I have studied abroad and then came back to live in my home country. Most of my closest friends are in remote parts of the world, some even in different time zones. The friends I made since I have #myboy, are mostly parents, all with their own problems. We help each other out a lot - but my impression is we do not have the patience to really hear each other out. We often treat each other with "ok, you complained enough, now get a grip, here is my advice, please let's stop talking about you, I don't have space for other people's problems". But the thing is, we desperately need someone to hear us out, who won't judge us, who will empathise even if we need to talk for hours, cry like crazy and admit to a whole spectrum of narcissistic feelings. Nowadays, the conclusion to such talks mostly is - "oh dear, you need to go to therapy".


Oh, therapy! A wonderful relationship, where you can talk about yourself for the magical hour, for which either you or your insurance is paying, so it is in everyone's favour! Praise the therapy! But oh wait... isn't a healthy relationship an exchange which doesn't necessarily involve money...? Isn't it an exchange where both persons involved share their thoughts and feelings? Hm, although talking about yourself is so satisfying and a good therapist makes you feel totally comfortable with it, it cannot replace all the ships and fulfill all of our natural needs.


Well, these in the past few decades have evolved drastically. Just today I read that almost 50% of marriages in the western countries end with a divorce. I don't even know where to start with the subject! As a 37 years old, divorced single mom, who sometimes actively searches for a partner, I feel like there isn't much hope that I will still find something deep and resembling a regular, old or a bit more new fashioned romantic relationship. Ok, I promise, I will provide you with a long, in-depth article on love in the 21st century, involving the modern ways of "how to meet someone". I am sure you all have a lot to share on this matter.

The internet

And here I would like to come back to the internet. It is a bit as though by posting a personal blog post, a video on an anonymous Instagram account... You let your deepest thoughts, feelings, impressions, emotions, pains, joys, random thoughts, important thoughts get out. You purify yourself. And then, whether you admit it to yourself or not, you are waiting for a response from the universe full of other lonely souls.


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